I can't do this anymore
by The.Lion's.Only.Lamb
Summary: In SK, Adrian uses compulsion on Rose, what would happen if Dimitri sees Rose try to kiss Adrian? Would he stay to hear what Rose has to say or will he leave? What will Rose do? Please R&R 1st VA fanfic tell me what you think!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey everyone, well this is my first VA story...i just finished reading the series and this story popped into my head. Well, tell me what you think.**

Rose POV

"You know," he said breaking me out of my thoughts, "under any other circumstances this would be hot. Instead you're looking at me like I'm some kind of science fair project."

I was suddenly struck with a brilliant idea; the perfect way to test my love for Dimitri.

"Why don't you ever use compulsion on me?" I asked him. "And I don't mean just to stop me from getting in fights."

"Because half the fun of you is that you're so difficult."

"Do it." I practically shouted.

"Do what?" Adrian asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"Use compulsion on me to make me what to kiss you—except you have to promise not to actually kiss me."

"That's pretty weird—and what I say something's weird, you know it's serious."

After some more convincing, he looked into my eyes and I could feel the thick cloud overpowering me. The warm blanket seeped over me, fitting itself to my body. Suddenly, every aspect of his body—his lips, his hands, his sent, everything was drawing me to him. I could already taste his lips on mine, and boy, did I want more.

His face moved closer to mine, his lips only inches away. I couldn't take the suspense any longer, I pushed my body up to reach his height, but something was stopping me from reaching his lips, his hands.

That warm peaceful cloud that was smothering me lifted.

"That's enough, Rose" Adrian said to me. Something over my head caught his attention, for he slowly backed away from me.

I turned around, not ready for the sight in front of me. Dimitri stood there, eyes murderous and full of sadness. He turned around and stormed off.

Running, I caught his arm and spun him around, my strength surprised the both of us. "Dimitri, stop, you don't understand!"

His cold voice stung as it sliced through me. "What's not to understand? You were just using me right? You don't love me. You love him, it is obvious, he doesn't want you so you used me to make him jealous, right?" I think that was the first time I had ever seen Dimitri so close to crying. The unshed tears made his eyes sparkle.

"NO! You don't understand, I was just doing what my councilor said!"

"Oh really?" He laughed a cold and heartless laugh, "Your councilor told you to go make out with Adrian, I find that really hard to believe."

"Please Dimitri, you have to believe me! I don't like him; I love you. Please!" Tears were streaming down my face. He looked shocked, he has never seen me cry, hardly anyone has.

"I can't do this anymore, Rose. I won't let myself love you anymore. All those rumors I've heard of you, not once did I ever think those were true, I guess I learned my lesson right? Don't _ever_ fall in love."

"You…you love me?" I asked.

"No. I _used_ to love you, but I give up, I just can't do it anymore."

"Please" I was begging, I knew that, but Dimitri was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I just can't let that go.

Without another word, he turned around and walked away. It felt like I was being torn in two, my better half walking away from me, and the worthless part of me was the only thing holding me together. I fell to my knees and started sobbing. Warm arms surrounded me and I didn't care whom they belonged to. For all I know, it could have been a Strigoi, but I didn't care, they could suck me dry and it wouldn't matter.

"Come on, Rose, it will all be ok. Talk it out with him tomorrow at practice. He will come to his senses, who can resist you?" Adrian tried to comfort me. It did help a little, but I would have to find out tomorrow.

"Thanks, Adrian, I have to go." I mumbled. The tears were slowing down, but they were still coming.

I stood up on shaky legs and walked to my dorm. _Stupid, stupid me._ Was the only thought going through my head.

************

Dimitri POV

I can't believe she would betray me like that. I was planning on telling her that I loved her tonight. The only romantic thing I have ever done. During my years at school I was always focused on being the best, I never felt the need to have a girlfriend. And the one time I let myself fall in love, my heart gets ripped from my chest.

I was planning on taking Rose for a nice, long walk and then I would tell her I loved her. But what is the point now?

I knocked on the door in front of me.

"Come in," the voice on the other side of the door called.

"Sorry to intrude, but I need to talk to you, Headmistress Kirova."

"It is no intrusion, what do you need Guardian Belikov?"

"I would like to be reassigned, as soon as possible, please"

"Wha-what why?" she asked, speechless.

"I have let myself fall in love with a student, and I cannot be near her. I would like to be assigned somewhere else that could benefit from my help. I will still be Princess Dragomir's guardian, and I will be back for graduation." I said.

"May I ask which student?" she asked.

"Rose Hathaway." I answered.

"I thought so"

"You-you what?" I have no doubt my face showed the shock I felt.

"Why do you think I assigned you to be her mentor? I knew you wouldn't be able to resist her. The only man I have ever seen resist her is Christian. Tell me, does she feel the same way back?"

Still in shock I answered, "I thought so, but now I know she doesn't."

"Ok, you will be working at the Royal Court. You leave tomorrow morning during daylight, 7 AM same time as curfew."

"Thank you, headmistress, and I will have a replacement for Rose's trainings meet her in the Gym. If you see Rose, could you give her this note?" I asked and she nodded.

"And Dimitri," I turned to look at her, "good luck." I nodded and left the room to go talk to Alberta.

I saw her on the way back to my room and called to her, "Alberta!"

"Yes Guardian Belikov," she replied.

"I need to ask you if you could take over Rose's trainings for me."

"Of course, for how long?" she asked, surprised. I seem to be shocking everyone today.

"Until graduation, I am leaving to go to the Royal Court."

She jaw fell open. She was not the kind of person many people can astound.

"When are you leaving?" she asked getting over her temporary surprise.

"Tomorrow morning," she nodded.

"I have to pack," I said and turned around, "oh, and Alberta."

"Yes?"

"Could you not tell Rose where I am going, I don't want her to follow me."

"Why would she follow you…you know what, I don't want to know. Sure I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you." With that I left and went up to my room. I packed all of my belongings and got ready to leave. _Why didn't Roza tell me the truth, it could have saved me from a lot of heartbreak._

************

Rose's POV

I woke up the next morning anxious to see, and talk, to Dimitri. I turned to look at the clock and saw that it was 5 in the afternoon, I had 30 minutes until my practice with him, but I decided to get there early, Dimitri is always early.

I changed quickly and made my way across the campus to the gym. Not surprisingly, the door to the gym was propped open as it always was when Dimitri was waiting for me to arrive.

I practically ran to the open door and walked inside. "DIMITRI," I yelled.

"He's not here," a voice called from behind me. Normally I would jump ten feet in the air, but I am a guardian-to-be and we don't jump, that much.

"Hello, Alberta, do you know where he is, or when he is coming back, I need to talk to him." I asked as calmly as possible, but worry was seeping into me.

"I don't think he is coming back, he left earlier today with all of his belongings."

She said, and sensing what I was about to say, she added, "I don't know where he went."

I felt the last bit of life slip out of me, figuratively of course, and fell to my knees once again and wept. Alberta just stood there looking at me like I was crazy.

"This is all my fault" I think that broke her out of her shock.

She bent down next to me and said, "How is this your fault?"

"I had Adrian use compulsion on me to make me kiss him, just to prove that I love Dimitri, because that is what the councilor told me to do, but he saw me try to kiss Adrian and he got mad, and sad. He left and now he isn't coming back, and it is all my fault." I sobbed. I couldn't take it anymore; I got up and ran off. I was now technically eighteen and I didn't need anymore "lessons". I am leaving.

I ran up to my room and packed all of my necessities. Then I ran to Lissa's room. I started pounding on her door until she answered. When she did, I was not surprised to see Christian sitting on the floor. She saw my teary eyes and my packed bag and said, "You're leaving." There was no question in her voice; she was stating the obvious.

"I just can't do this anymore. I fell in love with Dimitri and I ruined it. He isn't here anymore and it is my fault. I ruin everything and it is time for me to leave. I have to leave. I'm sorry."

At that point the tears started flowing again.

"I understand, trust me I do, but do me a favor." She asked

I nodded

"Take care of yourself and don't do anything rash." I gave a small chuckle and nodded again. I gave her a hug and was surprised when Christian came up and gave me a hug also.

I nodded to them and left to Headmistress Kirova's office. When I got there, I knocked on the door. When she told me to come in, I opened the door.

"Headmistress, I am here to withdraw from the academy." I told her skipping all the pretenses.

She looked shocked, "Rose, we are only a few months away from graduation. Why are you leaving? Are you going to live in the blood-whore communities?"

"No, I am not. I am going to kill Strigoi. I am ready to fight, and I just can't stand it here anymore, I'm sorry. I am legally eighteen now and I don't need any permission to drop out."

She looked even more shocked then she was earlier.

"Here are the papers," I handed them to her.

"Goodbye Rose."

"Bye"

And I left the room with a broken heart and no place to go.

**A/N:hope you like it, tell me if I should continue!!!**

**Here is a quote I found to go with the chapter:**

**Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated. **** ~ Lamartine**

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	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter is kind of cheesy, but I needed to get it done so I could get on with the good stuff!!! **_**I don't own Vampire Academy**_

It has been three months since I left St. Vladimir's Academy. Since then, I have tracked, hunted, and killed about forty-nine Strigoi. As proof of my kills, I have kept a scrap of their shirts. Each time I kill, I become closer to the dead. I can communicate with the ghosts and I can "track" Strigoi in my mind. Lissa has perfected our bond and her powers since I have been gone. Now, she can visit me in dreams, and sometimes, though not often, she can speak to me through our bond. She can only do it right after she goes to the feeders because it takes too much energy.

Currently, I am on the trail of a large pack of Strigoi, which I estimate to have around ten Strigoi. This pack has been migrating around the country and killing humans. So far, they have killed a little over thirty people in this past month; I don't want to think about what happened before I came. Somebody has to stop them; this is where I come in. I walked forward, down the dark, empty street. Being so late at night, the only light came from the few lampposts scattered around the street.

A nauseating feeling came to me, warning me that Strigoi were near. Pulling a silver stake out of my jacket pocket, I crept forward. I now wear the same kind of jacket Dimitri wears, and it has proven helpful to hide weapons in. Closing my eyes, I focused on each of the Strigoi. I could feel what they were going to do before they did it. It proved immensely helpful during battles.

I stepped up the driveway of the house they were currently in. Posing as an innocent girl, I knocked on the door. As the Strigoi opened the door, I shoved the stake in his chest before he could make a sound. _One down, nine to go._

Still focusing on them, I felt one turn around the corner. Planning on grabbing me with her right hand, I spun away and grazed her arm with the stake. She let out a blood-curdling scream. I felt all of the Strigoi running through the house to get to our location. I knew I had a few seconds until they all came, so I took advantage of that slowly closing window. I spun around and kicked her in the stomach so hard that she flew backwards. I ran to her and struck her in the chest with my stake. _Two down, eight to go._

The rest of the Strigoi came and surrounded me, watching me. "Come on, who is going to come first? Are you scared of little moi?" They laughed. Taking advantage of their little distraction, I sprung forward and staked one. They stopped laughing, amazed at my speed. It seems the more Strigoi I kill, the faster I get. It probably has something to do with my connection to the dead, I am not sure how though.

"Are you a Strigoi?" One of them asked.

"No," I replied

"Then how did she move so fast?" Strigoi number one asked.

"I don't know," answered another, "maybe she's a half-breed, or shadow-kissed."

"No," Strigoi number one said, "she is too fast to be either one of those unless she killed more then twenty of us and she is shadow-kissed then we should probably run. If she is all three, there is no luck for us." **(A/N: I think the Strigoi should be afraid of something :D)**

"But master, why do we have to run, she is just a Dhampir, I mean look at her. And there is no such thing as a half-breed, no Strigoi ever slept with a Dhampir of Moroi." A Strigoi said to number one, the leader of this pack. By this time I was getting bored and ready to attack another one when they stopped glaring at me. As if they could read my thoughts, the one closest to me turned their head to look away. I ceased the opportunity and charged at it, stabbing it in the heart with my stake.

Before I could move, one came up behind me. Feeling it's next move, I spun around and dodged its next attack. Now, all of them jumped into the fight, since I was outnumbered, they continued their conversation.

"There is only one time a Dhampir got pregnant with a Strigoi's baby, we don't know what happened to the little girl, but it was Kudret who raped Janine Hathaway." My stomach dropped.

"Janine Hathaway?" I asked. I started fighting even harder; maybe this is why she sent me off to the academy.

"Yes, what's it to you?"

"She's my mother!" Everyone froze. I took this as an opportunity and staked two of them in under five seconds. They fell to the ground. _Six down, four to go._

"Impossible!" One shouted, "even if you were, you are still too fast to be a Half-Strigoi!"

"Oh, did I mention I was shadow kissed too?" I taunted, "oops, must have slipped my mind." I said as I staked two more.

The last two were by far the oldest and the smartest. They came from behind me and grabbed my arms. I screamed out in agony.

"Well, well, not so strong now are you?" The leader cooed. He moved my hair out of the way, "Oh? No promise mark, so you didn't even graduate, and you only killed two Strigoi before you came, either you are stupid, or you want to die. Which is it?"

I started laughing. They both looked at me like I was crazy, hell if I looked at me right now, I would think I was crazy. "You think I only killed two," I managed to get out before laughing even harder.

"Well, you only have two _molnija_ marks." The leader said.

"I haven't gotten a tattoo for the last forty-nine that I killed."

I took this opportunity to head butt the one holding me. She stumbled back as my head began to throb. They both charged at me, trying to find a weakness in my defense. One managed to sneak up on me and sliced my arm. I could feel the blood seeping out of me as I heard the staccato dripping on the smooth wooden floor.

_Drip, Drip, Drip._

The rhythmic beats distracted me for only a moment, but that was enough for the two to gain an advantage on me. The other came and kicked me in the stomach. It was hard enough to propel me into the wall across the room. I stood up shakily and grabbed my stake with a firm grip. I was through playing games with them; it was time to end this once and for all. The leader charged at me, I dodged and stuck him. The other screamed out in frustration as she ran towards me. I quickly turned and sliced her arm, the same way she did to me. Her head flew back as she screeched. I took the opportunity to stake her. That was the end. All ten were down and there were none left.

I looked around the battle sight, as any soldier left standing would do. But in this mêlée, I was the only one left standing. People, Strigoi, were lying all around the room. Slowly, as if not sure of myself, I walked up to each body and, with my stake, cut off a piece of each shirt. While working on the last shirt, I felt the presence of someone else. I did not get the nauseous feeling, so I knew I was not in the presence of a Strigoi. Scratch that, I knew I was not in the presence of a live Strigoi. The door was kicked open as the last piece of the shirt was finally taken off. I stood up and turned to face a herd of Guardians.

"Di-Did you do all of this yourself?" The leader stuttered.

"Yes I did." They all looked shocked, I mean here I was, an eighteen-year-old dropout who killed ten Strigoi by herself.

"I am Guardian Nikitin, could you please turn around and show us your _molnija_ marks?" He asked pleasantly.

"Of course, but you should know, I haven't gotten new tattoos for about two months now."

I turned around, lifted up my hair, and heard several gasps. "You have no promise mark." One of the other guardians said.

"Yes I dropped out."

"Wait," the leader said, "you mentioned that you have not gotten new tattoos for two months, how many have you killed since you dropped out?"

"Um," I looked down, "including these ten?" I asked him.

"Yes including these."

"Then fifty-nine." I looked up to see all of their mouths were open, their eyes wide.

"Tha-that's impossible, what is your name?" A lady asked.

"Rose Hathaway," I mumbled.

"Well, Rose Hathaway, if you come back to the Royal Court with us, you can get your new tattoos." I really didn't want to go with all those other guardians, but then I realized that many of the guardians would be going to the graduation at St. Vladimir's Academy tomorrow.

"Sure," I said.

"Wonderful, come with us." I followed as they led me to one of the many private jets from the Royal Court. _Here goes nothing._

************

Dimitri POV:

I have been at the Royal Court now for two months. Each day I hope my heartbreak will lessen, that I will be able to think about something other then Rose. Each day I am disappointed once again. Everything I see reminds me of her. Long brown hair reminds me of the many times I told her I loved her hair. When I see two people training together I think about our private lessons together, where we would steal secret kisses from each other. Everything reminds me of her.

I was leaving today to go to the St. Vladimir Academy graduation where, once again, I will be reminded of her. And, not only that, but I would have to see her with _him_. Adrian Ivashkov. I would see him congratulate her. Today was supposed to be the best day for _us._ We were going to tell everyone about us tonight after the rehearsal, but that is not going to happen.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard a knock at the door. "Come in," I said.

It was Guardian Nikitin. "We are going to the house with the Strigoi, are you coming with us?" He asked. This house is known for having ten Strigoi living in it. These Strigoi have killed hundreds of humans over the world. At least thirty in the last month have been killed by them.

"No, I am leaving for the graduation today, I should be gone by the time you get back."

"Very well," he replied, "Good luck."

He was the only one here at the Royal Court who knew I fell in love with my student; the only thing he didn't know was whom she actually was.

"Thank you."

About three hours later I got up and walked out of my room with my suitcase. It was time to catch my flight.

"Guardian Belikov!" Someone shouted from behind me.

I turned around to see Mia. She moved here after her mom died. "Yes Mia?" I asked.

"Um…I was wondering if I could go with you, you know, to see some of my friends graduate?" She asked in a small voice.

"Of course, do you have your stuff?"

"Yeah, it is already in the plane." She said with a bright smile.

"Okay then, lets go."

Three hours later we landed. I got off and headed straight down to the Headmistress's office.

When I got there, I knocked on the door.

"Enter," she called from the room.

When I walked in she nearly jumped ten feet in the air, which is a really funny thing to see. Being in this room reminded me of the last time I was here, the day of my heartbreak. "Guardian Belikov! What an amazing surprise." She exclaimed.

"I told you I would be here for the graduation and to become Lissa's guardian. And, tell me, is Rose still going to be her guardian, I think I need to be prepared." I said with worry leaking out into my normally calm voice.

"No, she's not," she spoke softly, not looking me in the eye.

"Why not? Did she fail the rest of her training exercises?" I asked. Typical Rose, failing the only thing you absolutely _have_ to pass before becoming a guardian.

"Not exactly," Kirova began, "She dropped out."

I'm not sure exactly what my face looked like, but I know what I felt inside, I was shocked beyond belief. This was all Rose wanted: She wanted to graduate and spend her life protecting her best friend.

"When?" was the only thing that I could think of to ask.

"I'm not sure you want to know." She said softly.

"Please?" I asked.

"About five minutes after your training with her was supposed to start."

So this was my fault. Because of me, she left, she's not going to do what she wanted to and it was entirely my fault.

"Thank you." I said monotonously before walking out of the room and into my old room. _Why, why, why?_

************

Rose POV:

I got all of my tattoos done. I now had more then Dimitri, and my mom put together.** (A/N: I'm not sure so just go with me…it is called FANFICTION for a reason people)** I still cannot believe someone as strong as my mother could have been taken advantage of. I believe that is when she dedicated her life to killing so many Strigoi, and maybe, that is why she never ever mentioned my father in the few times we actually talked. Sixty-one. I had sixty-one _molnija_ marks.

I am now sitting on a plane on the way to St. Vladimir's. I was going to support Lissa. I promised her I would. The first time she ever got into my dreams, she told me how much she missed me. It was then that I promised I would not miss it for anything. So here I am: Keeping my promise.

After getting my marks, the Dhampir told me to keep the bandage on my neck, but I have never been known for keeping the rules. I told the pilot to land in front of the wards; I wanted to surprise everyone.

I walked up to the guardian at the front door. I was shocked to see that is was Stan, the one I fought with the most. He probably didn't recognize me, I looked nothing the same. Especially my hair. After Dimitri left, I cut my hair to shoulder-length. Every time I brushed it, or put it up I would get consumed in my thoughts. He loved it; therefore, I needed to cut it.

"May I ask why you are here?" He asked.

"Hey Stan! Now, I know it's been a while, but did you honestly forget your favorite student? That makes me hurt." I said with a smirk.

"Rose?" He asked

"In the flesh!" I responded, "Now, could you let me in?"

"Sure." He said as he pulled the lever that opened the door. When I stepped in he asked me to tell him what I have been up to the last few months. I gave him my story about all the killings and about getting the tattoos and told him I was here to see Lissa graduate.

"I don't believe you have sixty-one tattoo's that is almost as much as the great Arthur Schoenberg himself." I laughed at his comment.

"Do you want to count for yourself?" I asked him as I turned around and lifted my hair into a ponytail. I could tell he was shocked. I had killed fifty-nine Strigoi in two months. This makes me a legend.

"Now, I really have to go talk to Lissa, but we can talk later?" I asked.

"Of course, go ahead." He said.

"Thank you."

I walked a little ways I knew nobody would be outside; it was the middle of the night for Moroi and Dhampirs.

"What are you doing out," I heard a familiar voice call out to me. I turned slowly to the side and saw the face of a person I never thought I would see again.

"Dimitri," I breathed. And for the first time in two months, I felt whole, even if it was for only a moment.

**And there it is!!! Tell me what you think, I told some of you that I would try to get Dimitri in this scene and I did so REVIEW**

**Here is my quote for the chapter: No matter how dark the night, somehow the sun rises once again and all shadows are chased away. -David Matthew**

**Here is how it works:**

**  
****Short Review: One line quote from the next chapter**

**Long Review: Paragraph from the next chapter**

**If you find a song that will go with this chapter or a quote: two paragraphs**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, I am soooo soooo soooo sorry it took so long for me to update, I have been super busy and tomorrow is morp!!! I can't wait, for those who don't know what that is, Morp is Prom backwards and it is for sophomores and freshmen (me!!!). It is a masquerade dance!!!**

**Shout outs:**

**Ddddddddddd: thank you! I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long :D**

**MCKEELCHIC2012: Hahaha that's what every writer wants to hear…Thank you!!**

**Link: Thank you!**

**Trax: Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long.**

**Love-ee Dove-ee: (love the name) I'm glad you like it!!!**

**Vampiregirl4life: Thanks so much and here is the next chapter…**

**This chapter is dedicated to all of you who helped me with my writer's block, you know who you are…this is for you!!!**

DPOV:

Sitting in my room, the lights dimmed, I thought back to our plans. We were supposed to continue our private lessons until the graduation so that she could be the best guardian. I had no doubt she would surpass me in ranking her first year out of school. Guarding Princess Dragomir would be a full-time job. She is a prime target for a Strigoi attack, being the last in her family line. We, Rose and I, were going to tell everyone about our love affair tomorrow night, after the graduation, after she is officially put on as Lissa's guardian.

I closed my eyes, trying to get a little bit of sleep before starting my guardian duties for tonight. Her face popped up behind my eyelids once more. It seems, as of recently, every time I close my eyes, or read a western novel, or even think about her, her face comes up. Love is nothing but a disguise. Once you love someone, you are taken forever, out of the world you once lived in, into a fantasy. And the pain that follows after just breaks through the heart. **(Thank you for that quote, Jess – Loves forever)** She haunts my once pleasant dreams of her. She captivates me; I think I always will be amazed by her.

_Knock, knock, knock._

The sound came from the other side of my room, from the door. I stood up and crossed over to the door and opened it. In the lit doorway stood Dina, Headmistress Kirova's personal assistant, and in her hand I saw something I never expected to see. My note. The one I wrote to Rose before I left.

"Guardian Belikov," Dina began, "Headmistress Kirova sends her apologies. She told me to tell you that she was so shocked in the revelation of Rose's farewell that she forgot to give her your note, and she says that she wishes it was not important."

"That is fine, thank you." I said emotionlessly.

She nodded and handed me the note. When she stepped out of the room, I silently closed the door and made my way to the bed. As I opened the letter, I saw the indents on some of the words where my fury and heartbreak made me dig the pen into the paper. The scratched out lines seemed to be pulsing in the dark, taunting me of what used to be. Have you ever seen those movies where the main character is reading a long heartfelt letter and, as he reads, his heart soars, as does that of the audience? Well, this is not one of those times. The letter says:

_Rose: **(underlined=scratched out)**_

_I understand you may once have__I think at one time you might have loved me, but it is clearly obvious that now you don't. I __know__ hope we will see each other again, even if it is merely for business purposes. I wish you the best with __Adr__ him. Even if it breaks my heart to say._

_With all my love,_

_Dimitri Belikov._

_P.S. Don't feel bad; I knew it was only a matter of time before your knight in shinning armor came and swept you off your feet._

**(Sorry if this doesn't sound like him)**

I sat there, doing nothing but staring at that one, insignificant piece of paper. The same piece of paper that made me feel open, vulnerable. Only she can make me feel this way, even if I am doing nothing but writing a short note on a piece of paper.

_Beep, Beep, Beep._

The annoying sound of the alarm clock sounded, signaling it is time for my duties. Standing up, I changed into the guardian's uniform, tailored black pants and a thermal shirt. I strolled to the door, opened it, and walked outside. The school was blooming with early spring flowers, the trees were covered in lights for the graduation today, and the sidewalks, on the way to the stage, were covered in rose petals. Stab. Another thing to remind me of _her_. It seems the world is out to get me.

Walking in-between the buildings, I stared at the stone-carved bricks. The shape similar to any other normal looking brick, but the simplicity of it all draws everyone in.

I turned quickly to my left: I saw a movement in my peripheral vision. Standing in front of me was a Dhampir girl who looked no older then sixteen.

"What are you doing out?" I called to the girl. She quickly turned around and looked frightened.

"I'm sorry, I got locked out of the dorms and couldn't get back in." She replied in a shaky breath.

"That's fine, come with me." I turned around and led the girl back to the dorm building. When I got there I took the keys out of my pocket, unlocked the door, and led her inside. Once she stepped inside, she thanked me and ran up the stairs to where I supposed her room was.

I went, once again, back outside and patrolled around the area. I saw another girl with short brown hair walking swiftly around campus. She had a well-toned body. Very muscular, but I doubt she could take on any Strigoi.

"What are you doing out?" I called for the second time today; this was going to be a long day.

She turned around quickly, her muscles tensing beneath her skin, preparing for a fight. When she caught sight of me, her jaw dropped. "Dimitri," she breathed.

I saw her face. The face that haunted me for these last two months. I don't know what it was that I saw in her eyes that kindled the flame in me that had previously burnt out, but whatever I did see made me want to gather her in my arms. But now, knowing that she was with Ivashkov, knowing that she was not mine, that blew the flame out once more, this time bringing more pain, and more hurt. I turned away, burned by her face, her body, just burned by her.

"Dimitri, please look at me!" she begged and pleaded.

I turned to look at her with an icy stare. "Yes, Miss Hathaway?" I asked in my professional tone. She looked heartbroken and, for a moment, I wanted to take back what I just said, but that would result in her finding one of my weaknesses.

"Please, you have to listen to me, I loved you—no! I still love you! Listen to me, the shrink asked me if I loved you just because I couldn't have you. I told her no, Dimitri. I told her no. She asked me to prove it to myself and I did, the only way I could think of, I asked Adrian to use compulsion on me, to make me kiss him."

I was stunned; I didn't know whether to believe her, to hug, to kiss her; or to walk away, to never look back.

"Why should I believe you?" I replied harshly but with a softer voice.

"If I didn't love you, if I stayed with Adrian, would I drop out of school, risk my life for no reason? NO! I wouldn't, I would stay here where I was protected, I would be Lissa's guardian, but I can't now and all because I love you."

"So, you're blaming me for your screwed up life? For not letting you fulfill your dreams? Well you know what, I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I ever let myself fall in love with you. I'm sorry that everything I do reminds me of you. And really, honestly, I'm sorry that I ever came back to the academy." With that I turned around, the blown out candle destroyed, never to be lit again. The wick was burned all the way down, there was nothing left to relight it. At least, that's what I thought at that time.

************

RPOV

He walked away, again. I fell to my knees, but this time, there was no one there to pick me up, to comfort me in my time of pain, no one. I stood up and walked to Kirova's office. When I reached the large oak doors, I hesitantly knocked on the door, my shyness shocking me.

"Come in," she replied in a bored voice.

"Headmistress Kirova," I said while nodding my head in a formal greeting. My time away, into the real world, has taught me many things about respecting elders; either that or all my energy was taken up by my confrontation with Dimitri.

"Yes?" She asked looking me in the eyes. She didn't recognize me. I don't know who would. My hair was shorter, I was more muscular—if that was possible—and I was standing tall and respecting her. No, I wouldn't even recognize myself.

"I would like to see the graduation if that would be alright, I know I dropped out, but-"

"Rose Hathaway?" Kirova cut me off.

"Yes headmistress," she rose and carefully studied me as if I would abruptly break into song or tell her that I was just kidding about being respectful and suddenly trash her office, not that it would be my first time doing so.

"My, Rose, you sure have changed," she said curiously.

"Yes, I have."

After a few more moments of pleasantries, she graciously allowed me to go to the graduation. I turned to leave when she stopped me, seeing my sixty-one _molnija_ marks.

"Rosemarie," she gasped.

"Yes, I know." I continued with my story up until I got to Stan. "Now I just wish to go to the graduation."

I turned to look at the clock over the door in her office, realizing with a start that the graduation was in half an hour.

I rushed off, changed into my red dress, and rushed to the graduation with five minutes left to spare.

Sitting in the back, I watched as everyone I knew walked in with their heads held high, backs straight, and with a smile fixed on their faces. I watched Lissa as she walked with such poise; the respect for her was clearly shown on the other's faces. She was this year's valedictorian.

I sat throughout the entire graduation until a wave of nausea hit me. I knew this feeling all too well; it came with Strigoi. I slipped out of my mind and "felt" the Strigoi—27 in all.

Silently, without attracting the attention of others around me, I went head first, into the pack of waiting Strigoi. Now, this might be the part of the movie where the audience is yelling "don't go in, don't go in." But, as for the main character in that horror movie, my brain is saying go in, do as I say. And this would not be the first time I attacked Strigoi, nor would it be my last, hopefully. I walked, into the waiting group.

"Aww look," the leader called out, "a brave little Dhampir comes out to play." He said in a teasing voice.

"Now, now boys," I said in a cutesy sing-song voice, "hasn't your mom always told you not to play with your food?" Now, I want everyone to know that I was not planning to go out and offer myself to them, and let me tell you, that is not what I did.

I pulled my stake out and began the dance of death.

************

DPOV

One moment, I could sense Rose in the one of the back rows, the last one to be exact, then the next, she was gone. I know I haven't been around her for two months, but the pull I feel towards her is as strong as ever.

I rose up out of my seat, drawing the attention of those nearest me, and walked to where I thought Rose would go, something just didn't feel right.

I turned the corner, and saw Rose, in the middle of a circle of Strigoi, fighting one. The last one. There must have been at least twenty, all on the floor, all dead. She was captivating.

They were in the middle of a deadly tango. One wrong step and the other was dead. With one steady movement, Rose took a dangerous step. This step I have never seen in battle, at least not from someone as inexperienced as Rose. I hoped this would not be her last.

I started running, knowing, even with my speed, that if this was a fatal step, I would not make it in time. I don't know what I was thinking, what possible logic was running through my head at that time, but now, thinking back to that moment, all I remember thinking was, _not her. _

What I saw next made me falter. She twisted her body in a strangely beautiful way that makes you think of modern art, but in this position, she raised her stake, jumped, and in the finale of the dance, she brought the stake down and it was over.

The body fell. And with that, she stopped, her breathing was ragged and her chest was heaving. She was exhausted.

I ran to her and caught her body before she hit the ground. She was out cold like a lightbulb that burnt out after working so hard for so long. I glanced down and saw the twenty-seven dead Strigoi bodies. This will make it a total of twenty-nine marks for her, I knew she could beat me, and she did, in ten minutes. I was proud.

I carried her to the nurse's office and, once there, ordered them to call Lissa. I have heard stories and learned that she has been practicing her magic and can heal almost anyone, but in this case, she doesn't need healing, she needs rest and comfort.

"Rose!" Lissa yelled while running into the room. "You're here! You came!" She stopped when she saw her body, unconscious and unmoving. "What happened?" she asked.

"Rose was fighting, she is just tired and worn out, she will be fine." I replied.

"I know," she said and continued when I gave her a questioning glance, "this isn't the first time she has killed Strigoi. As far as I know, she has at least twenty marks already. How many did she kill this time?"

"Twenty-seven" I mumbled in awe. Slowly, not to cause more harm, we turned her over and moved her hair out of the way.

Lissa gasped in surprise and I had no doubt my face showed the shock I felt. We laid Rose back down and sat in silence. Sixty-one. She had sixty-one marks. She was amazing.

She moved.

Slowly, agonizingly slow, she awoke. And for the second time she breathed, "Dimitri," but this time, I didn't look at her with a glare filled with hate. I looked at her with the passion one might look at his lover with. And she was just that, my lover, my love, my soul, my all. She was my Rose.

**Thank you all so much for reading, don't worry it's not over yet but getting there…any ideas suggestions, comments, anything is welcome.**

**My quote is:** **"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet."—Plato **

**Here is how it works:**

**Short Review: One line quote from the next chapter**

**Long Review or Ideas: Paragraph from the next chapter**

**If you find a song that will go with this chapter or a quote: two paragraphs**

**I am playing a game with my friends, give me a random quote or saying or anything and I have to work it into my story somehow…come on you can do it!!!**

**REVIEW OR PM ME!!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I am so sorry that it has taken me this long to update, but I have been super busy. To all those of you who wished me luck I want to say that I was voted MOST TALENTED of the freshman class!!! Thank you to those who gave me quotes and ideas…I love you all!**

**Emma: Thank you and I am so sorry that it took so long to update.**

*****Read Authors note at bottom…**_**VERY VERY IMPORTANT.**_*******

RPOV:

There was darkness, the never-ending darkness. I couldn't move—I was too exhausted. I could hardly breathe—it took too much strength. It was as if I was wrapped tightly in black velvet. Tied so tight I couldn't move if I tried. I could feel a presence near me but I was unable to distinguish whether it was a good presence, or a bad. Surely, if it were bad, I would not still be here.

No matter how hard I tried, I could not pull myself out from the comforting unconsciousness I found myself in. I was floating; I was falling. I was swimming; I was drowning.

I felt movement. I was being carried in two strong, muscular arms. I felt the muscles twitch as the person carrying me turned directions.

I was placed on a soft mattress. The material moved under my body as I was gently lowered.

"Rose!" an annoying voice called to me—I was unable to reply. "You're here! You came!" I heard feet dragging as the owner of that voice came to a screeching halt. "What happened?" The voice called.

Then the most melodic, strangely comforting, familiar voice replied, "Rose was fighting, she is just tired and worn out, she will be fine." Rose. What a beautiful name. Wait. Is Rose my name? Yes, yes I think it is.

"I know," the annoying voice countered. "This isn't the first time she has killed Strigoi. As far as I know, she has at least twenty marks already. How many did she kill this time?"

"Twenty-seven," the melodic voice whispered. It was filled with awe, shock, love.

I felt myself being turned over until I was lying atop my right arm. I felt smooth, warm hands move my hair over my shoulder and heard a gasp. I was moved to my previous position. I felt the velvet layer that was keeping me still slowly unwrapping. The layers—like and onion—slowly pulled away; my muscles were loosening. I no longer felt like I was trapped, strangely, I felt free.

I could feel my eyes fluttering open. I saw a bright light above me, blinding me. I felt the warmth of the blanket placed over me seeping in through my skin. I knew this place well. I practically lived here during my time at the academy. My many trips made me quite familiar with the room.

As my eyes became focused, I noticed the two figures standing side by side next to my bed. One was female, the other male. She was beautiful, long blonde hair and green eyes. And an aura that could calm a room of terrorists.

The male was striking. He had shoulder length brown hair. He stood tall. He was a warrior, you could tell by his appearance. Slowly, I recognized them both.

"Dimitri," I breathed. The name seemed so familiar on my tongue and lips. It felt right—like ice cream in a cone—it belonged there. I looked up into his eyes as I recalled the previous conversation we had, as I recalled the screaming, the yelling, the heartbreak. But as I looked into his eyes, as some people call them, the windows to your soul, I didn't see hatred; I didn't see revulsion. Instead, I saw love.

The thought ran through my head "Life sucks, then you die." I had been thinking these thoughts since I left the academy but now, for the first time in a few months, I felt as if that statement did not apply to my life. It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, however cliché that sounds.

I smiled gently to him and witnessed with surprise, his eyes filled with even more love and care than I thought possible.

"What about me?" Lissa whined in a playful tone. Slowly, reluctantly, I tore my eyes from his and moved towards Lissa.

"I promised I'd come." Was the first statement out of my mouth. She threw herself at me and pulled me into a death grip. "Li-lissa…can't…breathe." She pulled herself away from me as quickly as she could. Her eyes were filled with fear as she thought she injured me worse.

My eyes, as if some force was pulling them towards him, moved to Dimitri. I had gone so long without seeing him, it felt natural to stare at him.

"Um, well, I'm gonna go now," Lissa murmured on her way out the door. The door slammed shut and with my enhanced hearing I heard her footsteps getting farther and farther away from the door that kept out the rest of the world.

I felt weight bringing down part of the bed as Dimitri sat down next to my left hip. He grabbed my small hands in his large ones and played with my fingers while softly massaging my hands. It felt incredible.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, not exactly sure what I was apologizing for, whether it was for the dropping out, or for ruining our relationship, whatever relationship we did have.

"Don't be." He whispered back. "It's over, we can go back to what we had, it can all be the same again."

"No, Dimitri, it can't. Don't you get it? I like not following rules. I like to go wherever I want, whenever I want. It gives me freedom. It makes me feel invincible. For however long that lasts."

"You like putting your life at risk every moment of every day?" He asked his eyes betraying him. He was in pain, it was clear.

"That's not what I meant. I like the change. I don't want to live with a schedule for the rest of my life; I have always felt this way. It's just, now, I have the opportunity."

"So what about us?" He asked.

"I don't know, but I will probably stay for a while." I replied with a smile.

"Well then I guess I'll have to see just how much better you've gotten." And we made arrangements to meet up and "fight" the next day, when I was more energized. I couldn't wait to finally beat him.

************

I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock and slowly pulled myself out of bed. I changed into sports pants and a sports bra. My usual training clothes. Over these I pulled on my large Dimitri-like jacket.

I walked over to the gym, remembering my last trip over. The day I left. I walked inside and was instantly hit with the sound of 80's music. The comforting sound of pages turning, no doubt pages of a western novel.

"Stretch," I heard coming from the bleachers near the door I walked in from. I turned and a smile formed on my face. He was just like I remembered. Long brown hair tied in a ponytail at the back of his neck. He looked up from the book and smiled as he saw the jacket I was wearing.

I sat down on the floor, pulled one leg up so that the bottom of my left foot was flat on the ground adjacent to my right knee and leaned forward, touching the toes on my right foot. I did the same the other way after I was finished.

After I was done stretching, we moved to the mats. We were ready.

"May the best man win," he said. And we began.

He made the first move swinging his hand, angling it towards my temple, but I was fast. I forgot he has not seen my new found speed so I decided to take it slow and unleash it when he did not expect. I dodged his hand and spun on my left foot turning until I was facing his back. I used my right foot and kicked the back of his knee hard enough to propel him forward.

Grabbing his shoulders, I flipped myself over his head, landing lithely on my feet. I saw the surprise on his face at that speed, not even my fastest. But he was quick. He had amazing reflexes and he grabbed my hands. He flipped me, expecting me to land with a thud on the ground, as I would have if I had not had so much practice. He released me and as gravity exerted its force upon me, I twisted my body and, once again, landed on my feet.

He was shocked, to say the least. I used my signature move as I saw him relying completely on instinct, much as a Strigoi would do. I crouched down low, twisting my body like a cobra preparing to attack. My muscles tensed in my skin waiting for him to approach me. He was stalking me like a predator would stalk its prey. But in this case I was a poisoned dart frog waiting for the snake to taste my skin and die. I was waiting and he could tell.

But much as a snake would, he took the opportunity and struck. Going into a cave with unknown animals while hiking would probably not be the best idea. Same with walking into a burning building, or attacking a Strigoi just for fun. The same goes with attacking me when I am waiting for it.

He made his move and I was ready. He was two feet away when I uncoiled myself and sprung at him using all my strength and speed. I collided with him while he was in mid-step causing him to loose his balance and fall back.

I straddled him and fought for control as he struggled to get loose. In this position, if I were a Strigoi, would result in death. I pulled out my training stake, the fake one, and positioned it to where I would have the best grip. I brought it down; the fight was over.

We were both panting, the feeling of victory washed over me. But overall, the intensity of the fight remained. I was still straddling him and he was still under me looking up through his long eyelashes with love in his eyes.

Clapping came from the corner of the room, surprising both of us. I quickly, without making anything obvious, stood up from my position over him. I reached down and offered my hand to help him up. He took it and hoisted himself up.

We both turned to the corner of the room where Alberta was watching our every movements.

"You don't have to hide anything from me, you know." She said as she walked up to us. "I've figured everything out."

She pulled me into a hug and whispered in my ear, "Don't let him go." I was astonished.

She pulled Dimitri into a hug as well and whispered, what I thought was, the same into his ear. He smiled a breathtaking smile and pulled me into his side so fast that my hand landed in the middle of his chest. I went to move it but his right hand grabbed it before I could. He held it securely to himself.

And I knew that whatever else happened, as long as he was with me, I would be fine. I would be loved. I would be whole.

**A/N: Well, there you go…don't forget to review…now, I am not sure if this is it or not so tell me if I should end it here or continue.**

**I will not update or reply to reviews for about a month because I am going to a music academy and will not be allowed to bring a laptop. **

**My quote for the chapter is: ****"Sometimes you meet somebody and you know that whatever you did before, it must have been right.... nothing could've been too bad or gone too wrong because it led you to this person." –Unknown.**

**Here is how it works:**

**Short Review: One line quote from the next chapter**

**  
Long Review or Ideas: Paragraph from the next chapter**  
**  
If you find a song that will go with this chapter or a quote: two paragraphs**  
**  
I am playing a game with my friends, give me a random quote or saying or anything and I have to work it into my story somehow…come on you can do it!!!**

**REVIEW OR PM ME!!!**

**Love y'all**

**Kyle Beth...i'll post when i get back into town :D**


	5. Offer

I know that I promised a new chapter ages ago, but a tragedy has occurred: I lost my muse. Honestly, I can't think of anything.

_**~So what are you offering?~**_

I'm offering (and please help)

Just let your word vomit take over and either review or PM me—I prefer reviews—and tell me anything you would like to see in the story…literally anything.

I will take the ones that I think would fit best with the story. Also, keep in mind the rating, I don't wish to change it.

_**~And what do I get out of this?~**_

So, if I take your idea, I will write a oneshot with any paring and/or prompt that you would like to read dedicated to you from any of the following tv shows/books.

Glee  
Twilight  
Vampire Academy  
Vampire Diaries  
Bones  
or  
NCIS

(or if you love something else tell me and i'll see if I can do that)

PLEASE HELP ME!

Please and thank you,

Kyle Beth

'.Lamb


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